Thursday, December 31, 2009

letters to the world.

dear vitamin, gravol, and cheap alternate version of gatorade,
i am depending on you to help me avoid long, unnecessary toilet bonding.
i hope we can work something out.
yours truly,

Monday, November 30, 2009

letters to the world.

dear ttc,

fu@k you.

sincerely yours,
until i one day can't take it anymore and buy a used piece of shit vehicle (ahhem moped) and try to be independent, but then realize that a whole lot of other things can make you late (ahhem piece of shit moped) and come to the conclusion that nothing is reliable, not even your favourite red bicycle with enormous tires because sometimes those tires get flat at 2am and you find yourself walking the dam clunker through Parkdale when the desperate pavement dwellers are feeling confident. not even feet, because there are these things called bunions, i know, gross, and even though you never wear heels or impractical footwear, regardless of the occasion, that can cause you so much pain you walk with a limp that you end up taking a cab home even though you live 4 blocks away.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

riding the rocket.

some read.
some listen to music.
some knit.
some snort cocaine.

ttc - never reliable, always entertaining.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009






Friday, October 23, 2009

wtf. lol.

every time i go to the bathroom at work, i stare at this sign and wonder if i am just being immature (probably) or if this is genuinely funny to anyone else.

Monday, October 19, 2009

is it strange.

that i am attracted to this illustrated man?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

life's important questions.

what happens when you're a long-branch streetcar driver,
with severe diarrhea?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

letters to the world.

dear weathermen/women,
why do you tell me to wear rainboots and not ride my bike on a completely dry and bikeable day? are you trying to partner up with the ttc? do you take half of my wasted $2.75? are you laughing out loud (lol) somewhere at my cult-like following to your misinformation? do you realize that your career is essentially useless? did you know that there are some pretty affordable community colleges you could attend and potentially find a new career? a career with purpose? you could be someone with a purpose.
just a thought.

Friday, September 25, 2009

guess who i am no longer going to be...

this girl.

fyi - i was never this girl. i hate this girl and any other hipster who actually thinks this is a trend. it's called myopia bitches. and i no longer suffer from it's wrath.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

cutting and lasering.

so i am going to do it. tomorrow. thursday september 24th. i am going to have my eyeballs sliced open and laser beams injected into them. i am also likely going to have a severe panic attack. but at least there is a possibility of no longer living in an impressionist painting.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

letters to the world.

dearest spectacles,
i know i don't wear you often, but is it really necessary to give me constant headaches because of this? you are being selfish. don't be jealous of my soft contact lenses - they are completely replaceable (on a monthly basis) whereas you, you are not. well... at least until i shoot lasers into my eyes. but in the meantime, release some of the pressure. i beg you.
yours, until i no longer need you,

Saturday, September 12, 2009

junction art festival and the little girl who made my day.

what what!

check her out in action:

$4.99 bra? how many more choices could there be?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

letters to the world.

dear banana,
why were you being uncooperative? i had to force you open,
and it made me feel guilty. please accept my apology.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

another unemployed tuesday.

this is what all you unfortunate employed people missed today:

Monday, September 7, 2009

letters to the world.

dear toronto airshow,
you make me feel like i live in a war-torn country. please stop.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

what i want and need this fall.

1. amazing job
2. lasik
3. an adventure
4. cure for adult acne
5. inspiration within my own little world
6. an epiphany
7. a poncho - i'm kidding, i'm kidding

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

letters to the world.

dear construction on roncesvalles,
please leave soon, my bike tires would greatly appreciate it.
love always,

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

from the rooftop patio.

this is what group unemployment looks like on a tuesday.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Sunday, August 16, 2009

flowers and my imaginary daughters.

country weddings are so dreamy.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

love love love.

the crew.

him and i.

someone is going to be a good father.

old friends are the best friends.

and the band played on.



cry because your heart hurts with joy.